Anniversaries

Two years ago.  Right now,  Me, lying in a hospital bed in SICU after ten hours of anaethesia.  Me with a ten inch wound stiched up in my head. Me somewhat lucid, but not really. 

Me, two years ago, on this day (ok techincally yesterday, but I haven't gone to bed yet).  A hole drilled in my skull.  Two teams of surgeons working to get that thing out.  Finding that it was double the size they saw on the scan.  My family.  For ten hours, waiting to hear if I'm ok.  Me, Unconcious. 

I wake up,  I see my husband.  I see my mom and dad.  I see my brother.   I ask for Vince.  Who the fuck is Vince??  My mother in law was at the foot of my stretcher, but I was so out of it, I didn't know untill later. 

My neuro surgeon said he would patch the hole in my skull with artificial material.  After the surgery he said my bone fit back in so he put it back. 

I had some amazing nurses.  Some understood pain and helped me deal by giving small doses often so it never wore off.  Some didn't care about me as a person and followed protocol. 

It was very eerie to be complimented on my tattoos.  The ones that don't show with clothes on.  I have a hard time thinking about how I was manipulated while knocked out. 

I have three titanium plates and 12 screws in my skull now. 
No, I don't set off metal detectors.  (I have to admit I was totally bummed by that)

I was, at this moment two years ago, most likely in and out of consiousness, but very aware that my surgery was a success.  The tumor was dead. 

Two years is when they say you really start healing.  I'm going to count from here.  My further surgeries were just to fix things.  not to rid me of the cause of my years in pain.  This surgery, two years ago, was the beginning of a new (and difficult) life for me. 

I'm ready to move on now. 

I am ready to reclaim myself. 

In the beginning....

Tonight I start this blog.  Tonight I started a new adventure.  Tonight I tell you a bit about who I am, what I was, and where I hope to go.  Keep on if I amuse you, get lost if I don't.  It's really all about me.  It always is. 

Let's start right now. 

Right now I'm enjoying a glass of bubbly wine.  Right now I'm looking at my two amazing dogs.  Right now I'm proud of myself for small accomplishments.

For many reasons I decided about a month ago that I would return to a meatless diet.  For more reasons three days ago I decided to make it a Vegan diet.  I'm not ready to give up my sweetass shoes or leather jackets.  Most likely won't ever. 

I did not decide to eat Vegan for love of animals.  I love animals, but I have other reasons.  I did decide to eat Vegan for my health, weight, politics. 

Health.  I have high blood pressure.  I am young.  I have exercised.  I have done the leafy greens, whole grain, high calcium diet.  I have even taken meds.  nothing works.  Eliminating all cholesterol with a Vegan diet is my next shot.  I'm looking forward to seeing my Doc in December.  I know things will have changed,   

Weight.  I started as an ovo-lacto vegetarian 18 years ago.  12 years ago I started eating fish again due to joint problems.  6 years ago I started eating all meat because I was convinced by others that I had no reason to not eat meat.  6 years from then I find that I have struggled with my weight up and down for 6 years.  Coincidence?

Politics.  Don't get me started.  If you really want to know start reading Michael Pollan.  Watch Food Inc.   Find out the definitions of things you think are good like Free Range.  Organic.  Even Grass Fed.  Question your food.  Where did it come from?  How are the Animals treated?  Do the Farmers care more about government subsidies, or about the quality and humanity of their product?  Can you visit their farm?  Can you see where your food comes from?   These are important things you should be asking yourself.  Transparency is the key.  If you are allowed to see where your food comes from, then you can make your own decision.

These are a few reasons I'm going to live a Vegan diet.

And, It's FUN!!!!

I love to make amazing food, and I'm having a blast experimenting how to make my favorite things Vegan style.  Today, Buffalo Wings with Blue Cheese Dip.  Tomorrow, Mozzarella.  Next week??   Well, I'll just have to let you know. 

I feel amazing.  This seems to be the key to making me feel real again.  It's been a long time since I've felt like a person.  Those who know me know why.  Those who don't will have to wait till I feel like talking about it.  but for now.....

LIFE IS GOOD!

XXX

SCARRIE